Bloomin' Vaqueros

Must...not...make...Brokeback Mountain...joke. Listen, Dallas Arboretum: You have one the coolest places in the city. Your annual Dallas Blooms festival, now in its 24th year and continuing through April 13, is a truly amazing event. Crowds flock to see a breathtaking array of more than 400,000 blooming bulbs on 66 acres, a gorgeous feast of color that makes you feel as though you've wandered into an Impressionist painting. But did you have to give it a cowboy theme this year, with such added events as golden cowboy living statues, trick roping and hoe downs? That's an open invitation to make obvious, vaguely homophobic double entendres and outdated pop culture references. Must you tempt me into exposing my inner hack? Well, I'm not gonna take the bait, as much as it pains me not to point out that a "golden cowboy" sounds like slang for a sex act. The Arboretum is located at 8525 Garland Road. For more info on Dallas Blooms, call 214-515-6500 or visit dallasarboretum.org.
March 8-April 18, 2008